02.29.08
Posted in Mood : Sorrow, Poetry at 12:35 am by admin
A heart not loved, beats it’s rhythmless beat.
Filled with pain and anguish, it’s tormented meat.
With the worse yet to come, love to fill its chambers.
And the elusive love to burn with fire embers.
Now why is love the hardest to bare?
For now two hearts have one love to share.
They beat a rhythm only they can feel.
Love drives them on and it is real.
But hurt awaits, these hearts of fate.
To burden them with love and hate.
To be loved and love, then hurt the giver.
Is the harshest pain to the receiver.
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02.24.08
Posted in Thoughts, Experiences, Rant & Rave at 1:20 am by admin
Interesting, so my personal blog normaly contains all my my intimate and inner conflictious ramblings. Today is a really important day for me, and this is why I will blog this to the world.
Know thyself, this has been my inner demon for a little over a year now… yet it reared it’s ugly head, I have not taken notice of it until recently. I have been on a mission to find out what makes me tick as a person, more importantly why.
Bottom line is for more than over 6 months I have asked random people, what there most defining moment was, how it defines them and why that defines them into who they are. The answer always remains the same… evading answers off topic, and when you keep them on topic they get uncomfortable and feel weird, and generally leave… which to me is awesome, cause its fuels that hidden comfort zone/personality, I have with my selected audience or peer group of friends, my little hidden introvert jumps with joy.
So yet, I still feel the same about knowing thyself and all my pointless ramblings and conversations on the topics has gained me no “fruitful” results, other than the fact that I know no one really knows, how, why or what defines them. (well few do “Shodan” being one of them, yet I never asked him the question in fear of the bar tab if I do if I did pose the question to him ;) Oh and Shodan yeah we need to grab that drink sometime mmkay. )
Not to ramble of topic like I do 
I would just like to state the point I was getting to, or rather the conclusion… To me you can never know yourself truly, who you are what defines and you and what you know have nothing to today with the future “me” and the past “me”, the present “me” is the only truth to who I am and nothing other than that can be promised or given, since the past has been done, and the future is absolutly unpredictable.
To me balance will be found when who you want to be and who you are are the same person, in other words being who you are is your ideal you. Expecting nothing harnesses no predefined result, or disappointment. But rather leaves you with here and now, and no alternative other than to enjoy the moment for what it is. Life owes you nothing, move on.
So in conclusion, know thyself is not merely a statement made by men who think themselves wise, or philosophers that long to be profound. It’s a daily challenge of actively understanding oneself and ultimately a quest that is by its own definition a journey that leads to nothing more other than understanding who you are at that stage in time (the present), and not who you were or who you will be. Never leaving you with more or less wisdom than you had yesterday…
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